Friday, May 8, 2009

Ode to Bruce

A dog is the only thing on earth that willl love you more than you love yourself ~ Josh Billings

 Dear Bruce,

I dont know how to begin this letter. I know it has been awhile since I probably held you in my arms. But the very first day I saw you is still fresh in my mind. It was funny we never got along at first and yet you have been a big part of my life. In a weird way, it always seemed to me that it was you who taught me to become a mother. And hence, I have treated you as my baby -my First baby. They say when you experience motherhood you become fragile, and indeed I felt this with you. And I will never forget that day you almost died in my arms, your life was so meaningful to me. That day will always tell me that I am never going to be prepared if you leave, it will surely break my heart. 

And now that you're gone, it brought great sadness that will take a very long time to erase. I recall those days that I have ignored you because of Thames but that special place for you in my heart has never changed. I thought it would but its still here. When I learned that you got sick again, I have entertained the thought that maybe you will be bidding goodbye anytime soon. But not once did it occur to me how much it will sadden me or if I will be able to let go.

I think when someone you love dies you will never be prepared for that day when it will come. You will always wish they will stay with you forever. I try to hold back my tears in my melancholy triggered by your loss but it is not easy. I thought that because I am here I wont be affected but I was wrong, and Im somehow wishing now I was near when you left. My heart is crushed in a way I can never begin to understand but this is it. Im wishing right now that Michelle will be able to overcome this grief she's experiencing right now. Its not easy to lose someone who is close to your heart.

Inspite of all this, I am grateful that you came into my life. I dont know how much I have affected your life but you're one heck of a dog. And for this, your memory will remain in my heart forever.